As a child we play, explore, create and then set things aside and move onto the next thing, but as we get older specific outcomes of our creations end up being our motivation to create - for love, grades, praise, worthiness, social status, money, success, prestige, etc. the list is endless - yet the sole purpose of creation is to create and to be created.
As Creator Beings it's all we do here on Earth - WE CREATE.
We create our day, what we do, what we want, what we don't want, where we go, how we dress, what we eat, human life, etc. - yet again, the list is endless, infinite in fact - and most of it is unconscious.
But how often as adults do we create with the freedom, curiosity and innocence of a child?
How often do we discard our creation when we are done with it to move onto the next one with little thought for it?
It's so easy to become attached to things and ways of doing things... it feels safe, we know it, it feels easy even or maybe it brings us money or drama - or whatever we want to experience. We become complacent in our creation and settle into a comfortable routine.
I am the ultimate creator - I create, play and move on and have done it my whole life (much to my parents frustration). But I fell into the societal idea of life and began to get attached to social driven outcomes (money, praise, success) and as I went out of alignment with my heart I became unwell then scared of all the unknown 'what ifs' (what if it makes me sicker, what if I get hurt, what if I don't get paid)... so I stopped trying some new things altogether and reduced other things to minimal at best (like trying new food or art styles) and I focused on outcomes instead of unbridled creation... and this is where the light dimmed a little for me.
I used to even have the nickname 'Random Amanda' because I was so creative and adventurous with creation - I just lived on a whim and floated with the wind and did whatever I felt guided to - my life was wild! Whilst that spirit has never fully left me, it has definitely been dulled with age, social expectations and the perceived need for 'seriousness' in life... in fact I got way too serious...
I became too scared of food so I stopped exploring new dishes, tried elimination diets and feared everything I ate, even though I LOVE food
I became too scared of killing my plants that I wouldn't even prune my fruit trees until they almost died and I stopped playing with plants just for fun.
I became scared to be around people because of how badly treated I'd been by so many I thought were friends, even though I love humans so much.
I limited my artistic expression because it 'didn't make me money' (as I'm told over and over again by family members) and because my social following never was up to much and some judgemental comments by strangers.
I didn't wear some of my amazing clothing because I feared getting stains on it (think panda print blazer and paint splattered leather shoes) and I barely used my plentiful art supplies because I didn't know how to play with them without expectation.
Thankfully I have recently remembered and know in my heart that we are here to create and that what we create we give life to and therefore has a life force in itself, a destiny of its own, you might say, and I am coming back to life myself (but with less attachments and judgements).
With this great awareness comes a higher understanding and the ability to change through conscious choices and I'm happy to say that my innocent curiosity is coming back and my irrational fears are dissolving!
Through this experience it is painfully clear that we need to remember how creation works and how we are creators (not victims to creation).
We birth creation, nurture it and allow it to come into its own and go on its own journey just like a child... sometimes it comes back, sometimes it brings us things and sometimes it leaves or does nothing - sometimes it asks for money - but we do not own it and cannot control it.
... Maybe I've been inspired by watching my daughter investigate in great detail the glittery ear of a unicorn and then discard it to the side... or maybe just because it is time but I feel like I'm opening up again to the magic of life, but this time with the ownership, responsibility and awareness that it is my creation.
The time has come to create and release... so go forth and create wild my child and I will too!
Thanks for reading!
Amanda x